Podcasts, a poetry reading in Bolton and a chance to win my book

kindle cover

Firstly, Andy and I were guests on Welcome to Bolton, which you can listen to here.

https://overcast.fm/+Mmf0m1iKk

Now, because I’m awkward, a lot has changed since the podcast was recorded. My book “While I was gone” is now called “Lost and Found: Part 1″ and is under the pen name “Aleesha Black”. The link to it is here.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Lost-Found-Part-Aleesha-Black-ebook/dp/B07DY26Q72/

I will still be reading at The Wigan Diggers warm up bash in Bolton, but not from my book. Although, if you do want to hear me reading the first chapter, it is available at the link below. This was recorded back in May from the previous version, and I struggled in parts due to the words hanging off the pages, but the story is generally the same now, with the exception of improved editing and formatting in the new version.

http://www.podcastgarden.com/episode/amanda-steel-while-i-was-gone_128182

Finally, if you are in the UK you can enter to win a copy of Lost and Found: Part 1. All you need to do is go to my book trailer on Facebook and share it. One winner will be picked after the closing date of 1st September 2018

https://www.facebook.com/AmandaSteelWriter/videos/1833528343622063/

 

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Reading in Bed episode 5

RIB5

Episode 5 of Reading in Bed is now here.

This month we reviewed poetry and fiction.

We discussed mixing fairy-tales with zombies, and I talked about a book I hated and why. As (possibly) the last two people on the planet who hadn’t read The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, Andy and I both read and reviewed the book. You’ll have to listen to hear our thoughts on the book though, or to find out about the reply I had on Twitter from the author.

See the list of books and the podcast below.

Remember, if you are a writer we may be interested in reviewing your book. We just ask for a free copy, either in print or as a PDF. We can’t promise to feature all books received on the podcast. If for whatever reason we can’t fit yours in, we will write a review on Amazon (or another platform if you prefer).

Contact me through my website.

http://amandasteelwriter.simplesite.com/439723719

 

This month’s books

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon

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Guilt Game – L.J Sellers

Plague: The Tale of Sleeping Beauty – Mark Mackey

Sending a Drunk Text Whilst Sober – Simon Widdop

 

 

Baa Baa Zombie Sheep (poem)

 

zombie sheep

Baa, baa, zombie sheep

Have you any juicy brains?

Yes, sir, yes, sir

Three juicy brains

One was the master’s

And one was the dame’s

And one was the little boy’s

Who lived down the lane

None of them live anywhere now

Since I took their brains

For us to have for dinner tonight

But A zombie sheep needs to eat

Newsflash (poem)

dinosaur

Woman gives birth to dinosaur

Headline worthy news

For Facebook, Twitter and blogs everywhere

How did it happen?

Where did she meet the father?

And how did all the pieces fit together?

Were both parties drunk?

Maybe she was desperate

And he was a bit of dinosaur

Either way, I bet she’s sore now

Unless she only had to push out a Microraptor

Wait, no, I read it wrong

Woman gives birth to baby

Well that’s boring

Women give birth to babies all the time

 

Drama Llama (poem)

llama

The sign said, stop feeding the drama llama

It’s going to explode

But the people arrived in droves

And offered snacks, main courses

Puddings on giant shovels

Drama Llama ate and ate

But hung around for more

Practically pleading for another bite

Or an ‘are you okay hun?’

But it was never enough

To satisfy the hunger

And the people never learnt

Hungry, hungry it demanded

Posting up images

Fishing for compliments

And they fed it and they fed it with

‘Don’t ever put yourself down.’

‘You’re beautiful.’

‘Such a lovely person.’

And it ate and it ate

All of them up

Demanded and demanded

Until finally it burst

In the faces

Of those who fed it before

So next time

Please obey the sign

Stop feeding the drama llama

Because really

It is going to explode

 

I’ve got 52 pies (poem)

I’ve got 52 pies, but Cornish pasty ain’t one

I got sausage rolls

To achieve my pastry goals

I’ve got meat and potato for breakfast

Making my stomach vast

I’ve got meat pies for lunch

Don’t know what kind, but I’ll munch

Cheese and Onion for tea

But the taste is not for me

Steak and Kidney

I’m never going to be skinny

Not with these 52 pies

Making my belly bigger than my eyes

They say you are what you eat

So I’m savoury, not sweet

It’s not that I don’t care

I’d offer to share

But I don’t think you’re ready for these pies

Or what they’ll do to your thighs

 

Your first Christmas in heaven (poem)

pic poem

If there’s a heaven

Tailor made to each of us

You’ll be in yours

Winding all the angels up

With just one more Christmas decoration

A light up Santa, or an inflatable snowman

Until your house up there

Begins to look like Lapland

 

In your own personal heaven

You’ll never leave the house without a spoon

In case you find discounted ice cream

And because it’s heaven

You’ll always find it

Or boxes of Maltesers

And sharing bags of crisps

That you don’t have to share

 

You’ll be decorating the clouds

With those outdoor lights

You used to put on the tree in the garden

And the angels will all roll their eyes

But you’ll smile proudly

Because nothing says Christmas

Like a million multi coloured lights

And angels covered in tinsel

 

If you choose to look down at us

You’ll probably think we’re doing it all wrong

The turkey’s smaller, the potatoes lumpier

The sprouts might not have those little crosses

You always insisted helped them to cook

And it won’t compare to yours

But we’ll be thinking about you

I hope the angels enjoy your cooking now