I recently had a rejection – nothing new there then. However, this was different to my other rejections. It contained feedback.. Apparently, my writing wasn’t erotic enough to arouse readers. I was going for something more subtle and intense. It reminded me that I did write an erotic story a few years ago though. This was around the time I first got a Kindle and read a lot of free books about werebears (don’t ask). These always ended up with the female lead and the male lead getting together, even though the woman would resist at first, but the guy just wouldn’t take no for an answer. The “erotic” scenes were well over the top and bordering on abuse in some cases. So, I wrote an erotic story, to make fun of this. I then ended up going back over some of it and replacing some words with names of Pokémon, because … why not?
I’ve shared an extract below.
I will have to fight to determine whether the world ends or not. Now we’ve met, I realise it’s only a matter of time before the Pokémon battle begins. Although I’m far too distracted by the unfamiliar ache between my legs, as I look down and see an enormous Haunter has appeared.
I quickly spin around and look out of the window feigning an interest in the sky, as I try to prevent the demon from seeing my Electrode. It’s not like I don’t know what an Electrode is, it’s just never happened to me before. My Snorax shouldn’t be reacting this way, especially not to a demon. She walks around me, placing herself between me and the window.
‘My name is Angel,’ she tells me. Her tongue seems to flick in and out of her mouth with each word, and I’m already starting to imagine what else she could do with that tongue. If I was to lose control of myself, I could plunge my own tongue into her mouth and let her taste me, or I could just unzip my trousers and plunge my Haunter into her mouth, until the intense Bulbasaur begins to cease. I shake my head, even as my hand reaches down and rubs against the fabric of my trousers. She grins and I grab my hand with the other, as though it’s not part of me anymore, but now has a mind of it’s own.
I guess she had the same idea as me with choosing her name, and I can’t help but smirk.
‘Damien,’ I manage to say.
‘So the boss says I have to help you in any way you require.’ Her eyes fall to my lustful Alakazam.
‘What?’ I ask, my mind a haze of confusion.
She kneels down in front of me and runs her fingers lightly across the outline of my Pikachu, through the fabric of my ever-tightening suit trousers. They’re going to burst open in a minute if she keeps doing that. I involuntarily thrust my hips towards her. It seems like a battle just to force myself to stop moving. I sit down and cross my legs, hoping that will help. I wish I hadn’t. As an angel I can tolerate a lot of pain, but this is intense.
‘We can’t … we’re not meant to …’ I try to talk, but my mouth refuses to form whole sentences.
‘Then stop me,’ she taunts, before grabbing hold of my right leg and forcefully uncrossing my legs, then burying her head between my legs. She licks and sucks my throbbing Charmander, still through the fabric, but it feels like it’s continuing to get harder and bigger, possibly like it’s evolving and going to force its way into her mouth any second now and there’s nothing I can do to stop my Pokeballs from escaping.
If you fancy listening to someone read it out, you can HERE. This was before I started reading in public. These days, I’d probably just read it myself.