This was inspired by a woman who was sat on the tram, ranting on the phone to her (ex?) boyfriend. After hurling insults at him, he must have asked if she loved him, because she responded that she didn’t and went onto hurl more insults at the poor guy.
How to tell if she loves you
If she tells you to get lost
But less politely than that
It could be a sign
That she doesn’t love you
If she says you’re a mess
And calls you names
That can’t be repeated pre-watershed
She might not love you
If she threatens to set her family onto you
And says she’ll send them
To your door, to smash your face in
She’s probably fallen out of love
If she screams about how
She wants to cut you up
And send the tiny pieces
Back home to your family
She really doesn’t love you
In fact, she’s insane
And you should probably run now
Just get out and save yourself